I can not believe tomorrow is Valentine’s Day!!!! Do you have anything special planned? I feel like the big new buzz word is Galentine, encouraging all the single ladies to get together and do parties which while I’m all about girl power and celebrating your love for your gal pals, there really is no substitute (although besties come close!) for finding a partner in life. I can tell you that as one of the most independent people on the planet, so much of my world would be lost if I couldn’t share it with James and there would be a void without his support. I know the dating scene is hard but with online dating it’s never been more convenient. Although I was shocked to learn that over half a million singles register with EliteSingles every month! Wowza! Are there any relationships left besides mine?
For all my single ladies (and gentleman), where are we going wrong? Is it date anxiety or are you just not finding good matches? I always had a lot of fun dating. Even when I knew we wouldn’t get passed the second date, I loved meeting new people and getting to know the person across the table from me. Now in a relationship a lot of my dating skills I use in my everyday life, when I’m partnering with brands. I always get questions about how I snag campaigns and get to work with so many brands and I 100% contribute it to my dating skills. Same for job interviews, it’s a lot of the same skill set, just tweaked.
Think about it, brands want to work with bloggers that are a good match for the brand (same with hiring), personality, how you dress, attitude, body language and your online profile all go into that decision making.
EliteSingles just released a guide to help Americans tackle the most common insecurities they experience when dating, so they’re prepared for Valentine’s Day.
They partnered with industry experts to create masterclasses on the five key areas people are struggling with when dating. They cover fashion, dating etiquette, body language, profiles and the art of conversation. They are quick videos with advice that I think everyone should watch since their advice is so on point, and everything I consciously do to get ahead in my relationships. How you move and carry yourself, and your confidence all plays a role.
I go to a lot of events, which is my opportunity to meet with brands and impress them. It was the same with dating. When you look and feel your best, that’s when magic happens. Smiling, being engaging and welcoming without being aggressive is my general rule of thumb. That and listening (which is part of being engaging). Body language is everything; we say a lot more with how we move then even the words that come out of our mouth.
Kim Seltzer is the dating coach, therapist and personal image expert who does the Body Language video series. In one of the videos she sites 4 tips on how to use your body language to attract a person. Here’s a quick top line, although you should watch the video, they are only a few minutes long:
- Pay attention to what you put on your body – your clothes!
- Facial expressions, we respond to emotion. And our eyes show how people feel so make good eye contact. Also smile! It creates warmth.
- Have an open stance – don’t close your body off! Otherwise you come off guarded.
- Create a presence with your body language. Posture equals confidence.
The easiest example I can give is the photos above. What does it say about me? I meet readers all the time that tell me they feel like they know me from following my blog for so long and following me on Instagram. What do my photos and words say about me? It’s not any different then when you look at an online dating profile and make immediate judgements based on what they are wearing, if they are smiling, how they are standing… Most of you are used to me being a bit of a fashionable tomboy. So for todays image, and because Valentine’s day is approaching and it’s also fashion week, I am glamming it up and dressed so girly. I LOVE this outfit but if you had never seen my tomboy side, what impressions do you get about me from the image and body language? Maybe that’s girly but flirty and confident. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t look at this and immediately think she looks shy or loves rock bands. Or that I’m totally low maintenance and take 5 minutes to get ready in the morning. Being conscious of who you are and who you want to be at any given moment should play a roll in how you dress and move. Sometimes, I’m guarded and in my own space, and sometimes I want to be the life of the party. Much like some times I’m a total rocker and other times I love being girly.
Most importantly the videos and advice isn’t to make you someone your not, it’s bring out your best qualities and show people who you are. I’ve had a lot of women and men tell me they have a hard time being themselves on dates so practice and take this advice. When people say ‘be yourself’ they mean the person they see and love, not some warped version they become in front of a stranger. The whole point of a date is to get to know the other person.
You can view all the videos and advice here at elitesingles.com/itsadate
I hope you all have a magical Valentine’s Day! xoLara