In my short three years, I’ve learned a thing or two (or ten) from humans. Some good and others that have prepared me for the next nine years of life. The most important lessons have come from my internet fame, which was neither planned nor a publicity stunt contrary to popular belief. Since I’m not just beautiful but also wise, I will impart my wisdom on you.
[un] Fame often comes to those who least expect it but it’s the hard work that comes with creating career longevity that is the true test of fame.
[deux] Parents don’t always know best. While Daddy Karl Lagerfeld is an artistic genius, he doesn’t understand that I need freedom to make my own choices. Whether it’s how to pose for a photoshoot or choosing the colors for my next makeup line, at age 3 it’s time for me to spread my…wings?
[trois] Publicists can be your best friend or your worst enemy. When scandal hits, you’ll need them to clean up the mess, delete your iCloud, and bribe the papz.
[quatre] Everyone wants a piece of you once WWD releases you yearly salary. These people are not your friends. These are people who want you to Tweet about them or Instagram a photo of their products, writing about the genius of their brand.
[cinq] Your ideas are no longer yours. Instead, they belong to your manager, publicist, publisher, and business manager. Take for instance, my book: a tombe of my life registered with the Writer’s Guide years before it miraculously appeared at the château.
[six] Your value is non-negotiable and doesn’t have a nominal value. Humans may take, take, take but they can’t take away your self-worth.
[sept] Not everyone can continuously reinvent themselves like Madonna. But I’m willing to take a cue from my dahhhling Aliza Licht who left her high heel imprint on DKNY once and she’s doing it again with her own brand.
[huit] You’re only as good as your last interview. Contrary to popular belief, NOT all press is good press.
[neuf] There’s no such thing as privacy, especially in the internet day and age. What you post on Instagram lives on forever (just like that LiveJournal account you can’t quite remember the password to).
[dix] You are your brand. Know what you’re putting your name on before you become a Kardashian.